tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-63400012225203376422024-02-08T06:55:22.223-08:00That Angry Rabbit: Advice & Anger, Not Necessarily in that OrderAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17295801254801013204noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6340001222520337642.post-44540315332756290012015-07-04T14:50:00.000-07:002015-07-04T14:50:33.395-07:00Old School's Out<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Dear Anyone
Who Will Listen to This Harpie</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">: I
have a 23-year-old granddaughter who has been living with a 25-year-old man for
over five years. He doesn't seem to feel he should get engaged or plan their
marriage. I know she is upset about not getting a ring and approached him about
it a few months ago. He said he would get her a ring but wanted to wait until
he had saved enough money for it. But time goes on and still no ring! He treats
her well and to my knowledge her only complaint is that he will not commit to
engagement or marriage. His parents lived together for seven years before they
got married, so that might be one reason why he hasn't made the commitment. I've
been married for 60 years and feel that if you are going to live with someone
you need to make a commitment to marry soon and not several years down the
road. Am I old-fashioned? Should I let her continue to be "used" by
him? I feel that the lack of commitment doesn't show her respect. Perhaps his
argument is that he is committed by providing for her as she continues her
education. They live as man and wife without the ring and marriage. I know that
it bothers her, but she continues to hang in there. – <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Signed, Older Than Dirt</i></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Dear
OTD, </span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">You
are not old-fashioned. You are REALLY old-fashioned. Seriously, how old were
you when they invented the wheel? You’re so old you’re more concerned that your
granddaughter gets married rather than be treated well. Are you kidding me? Her
only complaint is that he won’t commit to marriage? If that’s the case, this
guy should marry your granddaughter right away because every man knows that all
women do is complain! But seriously, it seems that you’d rather he be a wife-beater
as long as he makes a commitment to beating the poor bird. Be thankful he’s not
using her as a punching bag while SHE USES HIM to support herself while she
pursues what is probably a useless psychology degree. (What is up with women
and psychology degrees?) The lack of commitment doesn’t show your granddaughter
disrespect; it indicates a man who is smart enough to not pull the trigger too
early, who understands that marriage is a notion not entered into lightly.
That, or he’s screwing someone else, in which case, again, it is a good thing
he is not marrying your grandkid. Also keep in mind that it just may be the
fact that your brood just isn’t good enough for him and isn’t someone he wants
to marry at all. He’s just waiting for someone better to come along. In all
seriousness, you should advise your granddaughter to start playing the field
first. Then maybe she will see how good she has it even without a ring and shut
the hell up.</span></i></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Dear Advice
Furor</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">: I am a grandmother, with four
beautiful/handsome grandchildren. Our oldest grandchild is a beautiful, blond,
smart 18-year-old girl. We are Caucasian. She is dating an African American and
we in the family are disappointed and outraged. She sees nothing wrong with
this. We all have black friends and acquaintances, but dating or marrying
African Americans has never crossed our minds. I know it's not as taboo as it
was years ago, but we just can't see this happening. We've tried telling her
it's not an easy road to travel and that there are consequences with this
relationship. Help! She says we are racists. Are we? – <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Signed, Katherine Kelli Keller</i></span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial",sans-serif; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Dear
KKK: What? No, you’re not racist! Why, if you were racist, you would view
African Americans as ugly, nappy-haired morons unfit to date your beautiful,
blond and smart granddaughter. I mean, if you were racist, you’d imply there
were consequences to your granddaughter having a relationship with an African
American, consequences that you’d somehow imply were negative. But you don’t do
any of that! Even if you did, so what?! You’re Caucasian! The white man has
been oppressing all those other races for what seems like forever now, so that
makes it okay! Really, it’s for their own good because beauty is what matters
and only white folk can be beautiful. How dare some African American man who is
of no benefit to the world whatsoever because of his race lay some huge pipe to
your pure-as-snow granddaughter! What I think is really going on here KKK is
that you’re jealous. Even you know that once you go black you never go back. In
that sense, it is no doubt that your granddaughter is indeed smart, smarter
than you who has lived an entire life so fucking small-minded and afraid of the
world around you. In 18 short years your granddaughter has made the world a far
better place than you’ve made it your entire life. You’ve fostered and bred
nothing but hate into the world and I personally can’t wait until you fucking
die because god dammit, I hate white people. Your time is almost up, bitch, and
I’ll be watching the clock invented by the Chinese. </span></i></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17295801254801013204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6340001222520337642.post-62325160925995248562014-08-07T19:35:00.000-07:002014-08-07T19:35:54.499-07:00Aliens and Assholes<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="macro"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="toa heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Bullet 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Number 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="10" QFormat="true" Name="Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Closing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Default Paragraph Font"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="List Continue 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Message Header"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="11" QFormat="true" Name="Subtitle"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
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<strong><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">Oh, humans, how pathetic you are
to ask for advice. How incredibly more pathetic it is to ask a rabbit for
advice. But, I guess you’ve got to do something when not a single self-help
book gets the job done, and you’ve read them all. That’s where I come in to
save the day. Not necessarily your day, but someone’s…</span></strong></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<strong><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Dear Angry Rabbit:</span></i></strong><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> </span></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">I have a friend that
talks about conspiracies all the time. He talks about how there is a conspiracy
by secret organizations to rule the world, that these organizations are in
contact with inter-dimensional aliens, that school shootings are staged incidents,
that ancient knowledge is suppressed so that doctors can give us mind control
drugs; there seems to be no end to his insane ideas. He even posts videos on
Youtube about these conspiracies. I can’t take it anymore. How do I talk some
sense into him before he winds up in the looney bin? – Signed, Bullshit
Detected</span></i><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Dear Bullshit
Detected</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">: Whoa! Finally, someone I can sympathize with! I hear ya. I, too, am flabbergasted by
the capacity of human beings to construct wild ass stories out of a failure to
reason properly. There’s only one way to see if you can talk any sense into
your friend: Ask him (‘cause it’s always a guy) “How do you know?” What
information does he have that leads him to his conclusions? Now, if you say
you’ve heard the same information and have come to a different conclusion, ask
him how this can be. If he allows for the possibility that you can be correct
in your assessment, there’s hope. Your friend can be reasoned with. But if he
says something like you’ve become too indoctrinated by The Man to see clearly
or he ignores your points while trying to get you to support his, then there is
no hope. While his insanity may cost you a friendship, you don’t have to worry
about him winding up in a looney bin. Everyone believes stupid shit all day
long every day. We only lock people up when they become a danger to themselves
or others. Fortunately for your friend but unfortunately for society, merely
being stupid isn’t considered dangerous, probably because other stupid people
are judging how dangerous stupidity actually is. Now if you’ll excuse me, I
have to get back to trying to find intelligent life out there because it sure
ain’t around here. </span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Dear
Angry Rabbit</span></i></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">: I may be accused of being sexist,
but after spending over 20 years around health care nursing stations and
hospital break rooms, I continue to be mystified and appalled by the way my
female colleagues routinely violate the confidentiality of others. I'm
referring to personal information regarding friends and co-workers, not their
patients. Gossip about extramarital affairs, financial woes and substance
abuse; there seems to be no subject that is off limits. And frequently the
statements I hear make it clear that the so-called facts being traded like some
kind of currency are no more than secondhand innuendo. Away from work, I spend
lots of time with groups of male friends, but I simply don't experience the
same cavalier treatment of others' personal information. Is this a gender-based
phenomenon? Is it possible to get them to stop gossiping? – Signed, Quackers</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Dear Quackers:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Is it possible to
get your female coworkers to stop gossiping? Is it possible to get your male
friends to start gossiping? I find it interesting that you appear to work in a
science-based environment, but you’re asking an advice columnist if gossiping
is a gender-based phenomenon. Forget asking a biologist or sociologist – that
would be too hard! So, science isn’t your strong point; let’s move on. Two
things: First, is the gossiping hurting you personally? Unless you screwed one
of the nurses and you’re afraid that your failure to satisfy is making the
rounds, then nothing they are saying actually affects YOU. Believe something
affects you when it doesn’t may be a time honored tradition among humans, but
that doesn’t make it right. Now onto number two: Don’t you think all the women
know they all gossip amongst themselves so that confidentiality is never really
breached since they all know the information is going to get around? If they
want to talk about these things, fine, it’s on them when and if it ever comes
around to bite one of them in the ass. If you’re still bothered by the
gossiping – knowing YOU don’t do anything to annoy anyone – you could go to you
HR department and argue that the nurses are creating a hostile work environment.
Of course, that will get the nurses gossiping about what a huge asshole you
are, so complaining is a double-edged sword. Please kill yourself with it.</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17295801254801013204noreply@blogger.com0Hollywood, Los Angeles, CA, USA34.0928092 -118.3286613999999934.040211199999995 -118.40934239999999 34.1454072 -118.24798039999999tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6340001222520337642.post-54219035976284129862014-07-13T19:05:00.001-07:002014-07-13T19:08:30.807-07:00Run For The Hills<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Welcome
back! That Angry Rabbit here once again to open the inbox in an attempt to
break the everlasting cycle of human idiocy. No doubt I will fail miserably
since trying to fight human idiocy is like holding out your hands to hold back a
tsunami. Yet, still I try, meaning I too am an idiot, or I was court ordered to
give advice so as to reduce my sentence for that bar fight I got into earlier
this year. I mean, what the hell was I supposed to do? The bar wench tried to
charge me for eight beers instead of just the seven I had. Bitches…</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Dear
Angry Rabbit:</span></i></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> Last week my wife and I purchased
three pairs of sneakers at a store. The service was poor and the experience was
frustrating. As we were leaving I noticed the cashier only charged us for two
pairs of sneakers. I chose not to say anything about it. In the car I told my
wife what had happened, and she said, "Well, the store made an error, the
service was poor and I guess that means I got a pair of free sneakers."
Even though I sort of agreed with her (and I didn't go back to the store to say
anything), this issue has been nagging at me. I feel as though I
"morally" did the wrong thing. Should I go back to the store and pay
for the sneakers? – Signed, Smelly Socks</span></i></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><b>Dear
Smelly Socks:</b> Oh, someone is worry a lot about behaving morally, aren’t they?
Look, Smelly Socks, you feel guilty about the situation so if you ask me,
you’ve already suffered enough. How much is the store suffering? That’s what I
want to know. Look at it this way, look at how immorally the store behaved in
your story: The service was poor but on top of that the mark-up on something
like sneakers is practically sinful (they’re made for pennies on the dollar).
The staff is either incompetent or untrained at using a cash register. The
staff that is competent is surely underpaid. Using my moral math calculator,
you come out on top of that equation. If you don’t believe me, please refer to
the nearest Bible, turn to the Old Testament and read where it says an eye for
an eye and a pair of sneakers for shitty service. You’ve got God on your side,
Smelly Socks. Going back to the store to pay for the sneakers would be the work
of the Devil. Now put some free shoes on and go run in traffic. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Dear
Angry Rabbit:</span></i></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> My boyfriend just won't respond to me
emotionally. I can't get him to open up about his feelings and he is not
sensitive to my needs. He makes decisions that affect me all by himself. I
never get consulted. Then when I mention a problem, he immediately tells me how
to solve it and tries to end the conversation. If I try to continue the
discussion, he says he already told me what to do and walks away. Can you give
me some hints on how to get through to him? – Signed, Carly the Carpet</span></i></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<b>
</b><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"><b>Dear
Carly the Carpet: </b>Um, ground control to Major Tom…forget about getting through
to your boyfriend, what the hell gets through to you? So he doesn’t respond to
you emotionally; I’m assuming he does respond to you physically? If that’s so,
you’re really nothing more than a pocket pussy that unfortunately for him, talks.
You’ve got exactly one option in this scenario: Withhold sex until you get what
you want, for him to talk about his feelings, which by-the-way he doesn’t have.
He’s got you by the panties, Carly; he’s not doing anything you want and
getting all of what he wants, which is off. Since he doesn’t give a crap about
you as a person, withholding sex is the only way he’ll even consider pretending
to like you for who you are in order to get sex (provided he’s not a rapist). The
only possible alternative is, as the only other good advice columnist besides
myself Dan Savage would say, “Dump the mother fucker already.” If you’re afraid
you won’t find another boyfriend, consider the fact that someone was in fact
stupid enough to be with you at least once. Finding a human boyfriend is easy
as long as you’re willing to put out. Just don’t let him talk you into pulling
out, ‘cause that shit don’t work. On the other hand, at least he’d be talking
to you which is more than you’ve got going now. </span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">If
you’d like some advice from me, That Angry Rabbit, send your letters via email
to thatangryrabbit@gmail.com. Letters/Emails of Idiocy that I respond to will
have the privilege of being transmitted across the universe, ultimately causing
aliens to come and kill all of us. Until that time, hasta la vista, baby.</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17295801254801013204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6340001222520337642.post-82401131478056767312014-06-22T20:04:00.000-07:002014-07-13T19:00:36.113-07:00Hungering for Unbaked Cake<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Oh,
humanity, you may me laugh, you make me cry. Your collective ability to negate
all your few great accomplishments with a flood of ridiculously simple
questions is unparalleled in all the universe. But don’t take my word for it.
Let’s get right to the mailbag…</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Dear Angry Rabbit:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I was watching the
Hunger Games movie and was wondering if it was true. Like, did it happen to
Nazi’s after WWII?</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Dear Hungering for
Knowledge:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">
I’m not sure what you’re asking. Are you asking if a teenaged femi-Nazi named
Katniss (note the ‘SS’ in her name) was forced to kill other Nazis’ for the
amusement of the victorious Allies of WWII or are you asking if participating
in gladiatorial death matches in general was the Nazis’ punishment for losing
WWII because you’re concerned Nazis were the sympathetic party involved in
WWII? Or, are you asking if The Hunger Games is simply a metaphor for how
Germany was treated after WWII? Seeing how unlikely it is that you know what a
metaphor is, my answer to you would be that the movie The Hunger Games is based
upon a book by the same name which is a work of fiction which is based upon a
Japanese movie called Battle Royale which is also fiction which itself is based
upon an earlier fictional movie called The Running Man which is based upon a
book by the same name which is also a work of fiction. The key word here is ‘fiction.’
There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Dear Angry Rabbit:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Is it possible to
make toast in the microwave? I’m at work and really craving toast because I am
pregnant.</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Dear Walking
Time-bomb: </span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Based
upon your question to me, I gather you never asked yourself a more important
question, “Should I reproduce?” Meanwhile, I’d like to ask you who hired you. I
want to thank them for setting a new low standard when it comes to the people
they employ. Can you make toast in the microwave? When was the last time you
put something in the microwave and it came out crispy? Do you realize in the
time it took you to ask your question you could have wasted a piece of bread to
find out for yourself? You obviously can’t cook, so, what the hell do you plan
to feed your forthcoming child, McDonalds?! Please give your child a fighting
chance and put it up for adoption. Please.</span></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Dear Angry Rabbit:</span></b></i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><i> If Batman’s parents
are died, then how was he born? It doesn’t make sense how died parents can have
children.</i> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Dear Batshit Stupid</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">: I’ll tell you what
doesn’t make sense, your English! Okay, okay, maybe English isn’t your first
language. Hell, it isn’t even the first language of anyone in the United States
anymore, so I’ll let that slide. But let’s think about your question for a
teeny, tiny second. Let’s suppose Batman’s parents died <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">after</i> he was born. Do you see where I’m going with this, kid?
Because if not, nothing I say is going to help. My advice? Stop reading comic
books and for the love of all that is holy stay in school. The rest of the
world will thank you.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Dear Angry Rabbit:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> I tried to make a
cake for my little sister but it came out of the oven burnt. How do I unbake a
cake?</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Dear Baked:</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"> Of course you can
unbake a cake. All you have to do is unheat an oven to -375 degrees and put the
cake back in the oven for -40 minutes. Then, unmix the wet ingredients from the
dry ingredients, put the eggs back in their shells, and sell the cake mix back
to the supermarket you got it from. Simple enough, I know. Be sure to tune in
next week when I tell you how to unbirth yourself.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">If
you’d like some advice from me, That Angry Rabbit, send your letters via email
to thatangryrabbit@gmail.com. Letters/Stupid Questions that I respond to
will have the privilege of being laughed at by the only rabbit that matters. Carrot on my wayward son.</span></b> </span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17295801254801013204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6340001222520337642.post-80242743013996817112014-05-26T16:52:00.000-07:002015-04-28T15:42:00.733-07:0050 Isn't Pretty<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Time again for my weekly </span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">court-ordered</span><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">
anger management class in which I answer advice column letters with the advice
morons should have gotten the first time but did not. Unlike some more popular
advice columnists, I’m the rabbit who tells it like it is, no BS, no punches
pulled. Nope, I’m the guy who points out idiocy when I see it, which is staring
you in the face every time you look in the mirror. And away we go… </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Dear
Unqualified Advice Columnist:</span></i></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Today is my 50th birthday. I'm a person
with a few close friends, but I'm not widely social. The members of my book
club knew it was my birthday when we met a few days ago. I had mentioned it
before our meeting but nothing was said when we met. My best friend is going on
vacation and hasn't remembered. My husband asked me what plans I had made for
us to do today. My sister, bless her, has been wonderful and feels responsible
to try to make this day special for me. Is it really my job to plan a
celebration and remind everyone I'm close to dying? [She’s not that close to
dying; I just threw that in there.] I have talked enough about how important
this particular birthday is to me. I'm hurt that no one feels I'm worth the
effort. Am I making too big a deal out of this? – <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Signed, 50 going on 2</b></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Dear
Fiddy: Are you making a big deal out of your fiftieth birthday? Considering no
one’s <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ever</i> lived past 50 before, why
yes, it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">is</i> a big deal. I mean, 50 is
so special; you’ve gone around the Sun 50 times, whoa nelly! And you got there
by reading books. No, no dangerous activities for you. Why, you might have accidentally killed yourself with a knitting needle by now, but you’ve been so
careful that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">now</i> you want people to
give a damn. Do you know why your friend going on vacation hasn’t remembered
your birthday? Because she’s taking the time to actually enjoy life for five
friggin’ minutes. Meanwhile the best you can do is hope everyone around you
acknowledges your <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">special </i>achievement.
50 might have been impressive 100 years ago lady but these days everyone’s
doing it. It’s not that you’re not worth the effort, it’s that being 50 isn’t
the big deal it used to be. (Or, you really aren’t worth the effort and I’m
just being nice because someone spiked my carrot juice with Prozac.) But if you
think this is a big deal, then you’ve got to take matters into your own hands. You
know what they say, if you want something done right you’ve got to do it
yourself. If you haven’t learned that by now, well, you may be 50 but you sure
haven’t done a whole lot of living.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<i><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Dear </span></b></i><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">Unqualified Advice Columnist</span></i></b><i><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"> </span></b></i><i><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">#2:</span></b></i><i><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"> </span></b></i><i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">My 4-year-old is in love with pink,
princesses, fairies, things that sparkle, accessories, nail polish, sassy shoes
— all of it. I assumed she was just drawn to those things because she found
them fun and aesthetically pleasing (I too love a good ruffle or sparkle), but
now she’s becoming preoccupied with “pretty.” After she gets dressed or I brush
her hair, she asks, “Am I pretty now?”</span></i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";"> <i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">My
wife and I have tried to limit talking about things like flowers or butterflies
as being “pretty,” though we do slip and tell my daughter she is pretty at
times (because, come on — she’s my gorgeous little girl). We try to emphasize
things she can control, like trying to learn her letters, hit a ball, etc., but
only “pretty” seems to be registering with her at the moment.</span></i> <i><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif";">I don’t know how to respond when she
asks me if she’s pretty. I end up saying something lame, like, “You’re always
pretty, sweetie” but that response is not resonating with her. I think she
knows I’m trying to avoid telling her she’s pretty, but she backs me into a corner
and asks me point-blank! Help! – <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Signed,
Pretty Stupid</b></span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Dear Pretty Stupid: Whoa, whoa, whoa. A
four-year old is backing you into a corner? To start with, you need to grow a pair
and tell your precious little girl “No one puts baby in a corner! Be-otch.” Now,
it would probably be easiest to dismiss this behavior as a phase and just tell
your daughter what she wants to hear, but what fun would that be? I mean, if
it’s not a phase, the crafty little devil questionably sprung from your loins
recognizes the value of beauty in manipulating people, case in point being
yourself. The downside of her reliance on beauty is that she’s going to wind up
pregnant by the time she’s 14 and on welfare with 3 kids by the time she’s 21.
My advice is to start curbing this fascination with prettiness <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">stat</i>, which can be done in several ways.
First, when she asks you if she’s pretty, ask her if she means pretty on the
outside or pretty on the inside. This will start making her think and you can
tell her that if she if only concerned with being pretty on the outside, no one
will ever really love her because she doesn’t really love herself, or some crap
like that. If this sounds like psychological warfare, well, it is. After all,
you are dealing with a 4 year old which is twice the terror of a 2 year old. Or,
you can tell her no, she’s not pretty, and she needs to start developing some
life skills unless she plans to move to Brazil, the plastic surgery capitol of
the world where she’ll probably wind up in a drug lord’s brothel. Or, you can
start using the word ‘pretty’ in a different context, as is “You learned your
letters, that’s pretty good,” or, “You hit the ball, that’s pretty special.”
But I’m sure all of this has occurred to you since you stopped a minute to
think about any of this. Oh, that’s right, you didn’t, because of you don’t
think. You were distracted by how pretty your wife is and that resulted in a
child. You know what? Let the kid do what she wants. I can’t wait for her
letter 20 years from now asking me whether she should put her mentally ill
father in a home or have him euthanized. Oh, the fun we’re going to have with
you, pops. </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">If
you’d like some advice from me, That Angry Rabbit, send your letters via email
to thatangryrabbit@gmail.com. Letters/Pathetic Sob Stories that I respond to
will have the privilege of being lampooned by yours truly. Hasta la vista, baby.</span></b><span style="font-family: "Arial","sans-serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;"></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17295801254801013204noreply@blogger.com0Hollywood, Los Angeles, CA, USA34.0928092 -118.3286613999999934.040211199999995 -118.40934239999999 34.1454072 -118.24798039999999tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6340001222520337642.post-65455112037126823352014-05-19T15:40:00.002-07:002014-05-19T15:40:37.286-07:00The Inner Circle of Jerks<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Salutation"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Date"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text First Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Note Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Body Text Indent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Block Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Hyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="FollowedHyperlink"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="22" QFormat="true" Name="Strong"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="20" QFormat="true" Name="Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Document Map"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Plain Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="E-mail Signature"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Top of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Bottom of Form"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal (Web)"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Acronym"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Address"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Cite"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Code"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Definition"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Keyboard"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Preformatted"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Sample"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Typewriter"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="HTML Variable"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Normal Table"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="annotation subject"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="No List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Outline List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Simple 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Classic 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Colorful 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Columns 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Grid 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 7"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table List 8"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table 3D effects 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Contemporary"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Elegant"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Professional"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Subtle 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Web 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Balloon Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" Name="Table Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" UnhideWhenUsed="true"
Name="Table Theme"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Placeholder Text"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="1" QFormat="true" Name="No Spacing"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" SemiHidden="true" Name="Revision"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="34" QFormat="true"
Name="List Paragraph"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="29" QFormat="true" Name="Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="30" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Quote"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="60" Name="Light Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="61" Name="Light List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="62" Name="Light Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="63" Name="Medium Shading 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="64" Name="Medium Shading 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="65" Name="Medium List 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="66" Name="Medium List 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="67" Name="Medium Grid 1 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="68" Name="Medium Grid 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="69" Name="Medium Grid 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="70" Name="Dark List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="71" Name="Colorful Shading Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="72" Name="Colorful List Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="73" Name="Colorful Grid Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="19" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="21" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Emphasis"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="31" QFormat="true"
Name="Subtle Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="32" QFormat="true"
Name="Intense Reference"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="33" QFormat="true" Name="Book Title"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="37" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" Name="Bibliography"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="39" SemiHidden="true"
UnhideWhenUsed="true" QFormat="true" Name="TOC Heading"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="41" Name="Plain Table 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="42" Name="Plain Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="43" Name="Plain Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="44" Name="Plain Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="45" Name="Plain Table 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="40" Name="Grid Table Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="Grid Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="Grid Table 1 Light Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="Grid Table 2 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="Grid Table 3 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="Grid Table 4 Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="Grid Table 5 Dark Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="Grid Table 6 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="Grid Table 7 Colorful Accent 6"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46" Name="List Table 1 Light"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51" Name="List Table 6 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52" Name="List Table 7 Colorful"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 1"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 2"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 3"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="51"
Name="List Table 6 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="52"
Name="List Table 7 Colorful Accent 4"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="46"
Name="List Table 1 Light Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="47" Name="List Table 2 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="48" Name="List Table 3 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="49" Name="List Table 4 Accent 5"/>
<w:LsdException Locked="false" Priority="50" Name="List Table 5 Dark Accent 5"/>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><em><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Welcome again to another one of my self-prescribed
anger management classes in which I answer advice column letters with the
advice morons should have gotten but did not. Unlike some more popular advice
columnists, I’m not going to hold anyone’s hand and tell them everything’s
going to be fine. No, I’m the guy who points out idiocy when I see it, which is
all the time when it comes to human beings. Let’s open our first letter… </span></em></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><em><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;">Dear Stupid Advice Columnist to Whom This Was First
Written:</span></b></em><em><span style="font-size: 12.0pt;"> This week, I had it
clearly spelled out for me that there’s an inner circle of moms in our
neighborhood, and I’m not in it. The message came from someone I’d actually
considered a good friend, which made it even harder to swallow. My confidence
is shaken. While I won’t seek out any of these women in the future, it’s
difficult to avoid them entirely. I would love your thoughts on how best to
move forward, apart from putting on a brave smile and staying close with true
friends. – <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Signed, Shaken Not Stirred</b></span></em><em><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;"></span></em></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><em><span style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">A question back to you, Shaken, is to ask you
exactly what is this ‘inner circle’ of moms doing that makes you feel left out?
Do you not get to frolic naked in the woods with them as they prepare for a
blood sacrifice? Do you not get a say in how the local PTA is <s>strong-armed </s>run?
Or is it that you’ll have less people to share your feelings with, people who I
assure you don’t want to hear about your problems to begin with? Kidding aside
(not really), your main problem is that you base your worth as a person upon
what other people think of you. Your confidence isn’t shaken; it was an
illusion to begin with. So I say fuck putting on a brave face; brave faces
aren’t brave, it’s a sign of resignation and defeat. What you need to do is
accept who you are – which means accepting whatever it is this group of harpies
doesn’t like about you – and shove it in their face. Maybe they know you slept
with Sally’s husband. Don’t try to avoid Sally, make a scene in public about
how much her husband complains about her bedroom skills. Or hire a detective
and get some dirt on these bitches. You know what they say, always bet on
blackmail. Stop putting all the power in the hands of wo-MAN and fight back. If
your true friends are really true, they’ll help you hide the bodies. </span></em></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Dear
Anyone Who Will Give Me Advice:</span></i></b><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;"> Back
in high school, I had a crush on a senior. I never knew why, but he and his
friends tormented me: They started rumors, told their girlfriends horrible lies
so they'd want to beat me up, and just made my life as miserable as
possible. Since then, I graduated from college in three years, now work
for a top fashion website as an editor, travel, and look damn good. All in all,
I'm A-OK and lead a pretty fabulous life. And what are those cool, popular guys
up to now? They're either in jail, rehab for drug abuse, or trying to make it
as white rappers. So wouldn't you know...after seven years of no contact,
many of them have found me on social-networking sites and have contacted me!
One in particular keeps telling me how beautiful I am and asks me out
repeatedly. I've been polite, but in no way have I encouraged conversation. Yet
he's persisting! I find him revolting, but I feel guilty not responding because
his life is so crappy now. How do I nicely convey that I don't want anything to
do with him? Or—shudder at the thought!—am I being a jerk for holding a grudge
for so long? – <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Signed, A-OK I’m Retarded</b></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">I
will once again begin my response with a question back to the letter writer. A-OK,
why do you feel guilty about someone having a crappy life when you know full
well that your high school tormentors never felt guilty about making your life
crappy? Screw them for thinking they could parlay high school popularity into a
meaningful life while you worked hard to get where you are. But also screw you
for giving me this “I’ve been polite” shtick when it’s quite obvious that you
like having the tables turned even if you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">say</i>
you have no plans to respond to any of these white rappers down in the crapper doing
hard time getting poked in the behind. Why would you even contemplate
responding to any of these asshats if you didn’t like the attention? You say
you want to be nice about the persistent messages, but even you know you’re
trying to be passive-aggressive. You’re a psychiatrist’s wet dream for shit’s
sake. On the one hand, you seem to think of yourself as some kind of benevolent
goddess, but on the other hand the sarcasm at the end of your letter indicates
you know that you’re a jerk for holding onto the grudge. Holding that grudge so
long means you’re not a hell of a whole lot better than they are; you’re all
jerks, the only difference being the past and the present. You don’t need to be
a jerk anymore, A-OK, you got your revenge. Either let it go or in no uncertain
terms tell your drug-addled admirer to FUCK THE FUCK OFF! since coke heads need
these things spelled out for them. (Of course, he’ll just wind up calling you a
ho in one of his songs, so be prepared for that.)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">If you’d like some advice from me,
That Angry Rabbit, send your letters via email to thatangryrabbit@gmail.com.
Letters/Pleas for Salvation From Your Pathetic Life that I respond to will have
the privilege of being lampooned by yours truly. Have a nice day. </span></b></span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17295801254801013204noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6340001222520337642.post-24999235874743332552014-05-11T17:27:00.001-07:002014-05-13T18:41:06.801-07:00Four Non-Fat Lattes and A Funeral<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt;">Hey there, hairless monkeys, welcome to my new blog. I’m That Angry Rabbit and if you’re wondering why I’m angry, just imagine you’re a rabbit,
you’ve been neutered, and you live in a hat. You’d be angry, too, goddammit. Problem
is, my doctor says all that anger leads to heart disease and that I should find
ways of managing my anger. I sort of took his…advice…meaning I’m not going to
manage my anger so much as focus it. You see, something that really makes me
angry are advice columns. Who do these people think they are to give advice? Did
anyone ever stop to ask, “Hey, Abby, can see some credentials?” It reminds me
of something Obi-Wan Kenobi once pondered, “Who’s more the fool, the fool or the
fool who follows the fool?” So what I’m going to do is review recent advice
column letters and dispense the advice the actual advice columnist – who is
usually an idiot – should have given. Sound like fun? I thought so. Let’s get
this party started!</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b><i><span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Dear Name Withheld for Fear of Copyright Infringement: </span></i></b><b><i><span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-weight: normal; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">I’m a recent grad</span></i></b><b><i><span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN;"> </span></i></b><i><span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN;">who just began working
part time as a barista this past week, and so far I really enjoy my job. My
best friend was employed by the same coffee company last year but was fired
within a month and is still pretty angry about it. She keeps asking me how work
is going whenever I see her, and I feel like I can never say a single, positive
thing about my experiences so far without her making some sarcastic aside. I
understand her frustration, but this is making me so uncomfortable that a part
of me just wants to tell her to stuff it and make peace with the fact that I’m
happy. Do you think there’s any way I could approach this with her without
setting off another rant or starting a fight? – <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Signed, Beaner Boy (I made that name up).</b></span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
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<i><span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12.0pt; font-style: normal; mso-ansi-language: EN; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Actually,
Beaner Boy, there are many ways you can approach this situation without
starting another fight. One way would be to tell your friend that you like the
job because you’re a simpleton with o interest in using your recently acquired degree.
(I shudder to think what your degree is in.) For your friend to still be bitter
after a year makes sense if she spends a lot of time thinking, something you
obviously don’t do or care to do. I suggest acknowledging your friend as the
mental giant in your relationship and advise her to focus that mental energy on
getting a job that will still be around after those moronic Middle Eastern
terrorists finally wise up and destroy the coffee supply. Or, you could take
the simpler route and just lie to her, telling her that the manager sucks but
you enjoy spitting in the lattes. By the way, who the fuck drinks lattes? Just
microwave some goddamn almond milk in a dirty mug and it’s practically the same
thing. Anyway, a third option would be to hang out with your friend less often.
You’ve been making coffee for a week and you’ve seen your best friend enough
times in that week that she’s annoying you? Let me tell you who my best friends
are, they’re the ones who leave me alone most of the time! Maybe you should
spend more time at work and less time with your friend since you like your job
so much. Or you could take that part of yourself that wants to tell her to
stuff it, let it fester until it’s all of yourself, then tell her to stuff it!
Now, re-read my advice since your itty bitty brain didn’t catch it all the
first time. </span></i></div>
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<b><i><span lang="EN" style="font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN;">Dear Another Name Withheld for Fear of Copyright
Infringement:</span></i></b><span lang="EN" style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">
</span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My
father passed away, and it was his wish not to have an obituary published. Nor
did he want any type of funeral service. He was cremated, and we have his
ashes, yet our family feels a lack of closure without some type of memorial. I
have thought about hosting a "life celebration" or "remembrance
gathering" that would allow us to meet with immediate and extended family
and friends, but are we going against his wishes?</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> – <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Signed, Alive but Clinically Brain Dead
(yup, made that one up, too.)</i></b></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m going to share something with
you, Alive but Brain Dead, the reason why I hate most philosophers; you see, most
of the time, when an argument’s not going their way, they just redefine words
to suit their needs or frame a debate so they can win an argument. You’re doing
something similar; you acknowledge that your father doesn’t want any type of
funeral, but you’re trying to insinuate that a “life celebration” or
“remembrance gathering” is something completely different your father would
approve of. If you really want to respect his wishes, you won’t play that tired
game. I don’t care, and obviously your father didn’t care, that you need
closure. Aw, poor baby needs closure? You’re not the one who’s dead! Talk about
selfish. On the other hand, yeah, your father is dead. He can’t stop you from
disrespecting his wishes nor is he in a position to care. What, are you afraid
to anger his spirit, that he’ll come back and haunt you? No, that only happens
when you’ve murdered your parents they haven’t found the bodies yet. No, no
haunting for you but you’ve sure got a lot of cobwebs in that noggin of yours.
Stop worrying so much and live your own life. You’re already celebrating your
father’s life by not killing yourself thereby letting his genetic material live
on. Not that I think you shouldn’t kill yourself, you are, after all, an
embarrassment so obvious to your father that he didn’t want you eulogizing him.
While you might feel guilty for wanting to disrespect his wishes, at least feel
guilty for the right reasons, namely that it should have been you instead of
him. Gah! Humans! </span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If you’d like some advice from me, That Angry Rabbit, send
your letters via email to thatangryrabbit@gmail.com. Letters/Heart Wrenching
Tales of Woe that I respond to will have the privilege of being lampooned by yours
truly. </span></b></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17295801254801013204noreply@blogger.com0New York, NY, USA40.7056308 -73.978003540.3204428 -74.6234505 41.0908188 -73.3325565