Dear Anyone
Who Will Listen to This Harpie: I
have a 23-year-old granddaughter who has been living with a 25-year-old man for
over five years. He doesn't seem to feel he should get engaged or plan their
marriage. I know she is upset about not getting a ring and approached him about
it a few months ago. He said he would get her a ring but wanted to wait until
he had saved enough money for it. But time goes on and still no ring! He treats
her well and to my knowledge her only complaint is that he will not commit to
engagement or marriage. His parents lived together for seven years before they
got married, so that might be one reason why he hasn't made the commitment. I've
been married for 60 years and feel that if you are going to live with someone
you need to make a commitment to marry soon and not several years down the
road. Am I old-fashioned? Should I let her continue to be "used" by
him? I feel that the lack of commitment doesn't show her respect. Perhaps his
argument is that he is committed by providing for her as she continues her
education. They live as man and wife without the ring and marriage. I know that
it bothers her, but she continues to hang in there. – Signed, Older Than Dirt
Dear
OTD,
You
are not old-fashioned. You are REALLY old-fashioned. Seriously, how old were
you when they invented the wheel? You’re so old you’re more concerned that your
granddaughter gets married rather than be treated well. Are you kidding me? Her
only complaint is that he won’t commit to marriage? If that’s the case, this
guy should marry your granddaughter right away because every man knows that all
women do is complain! But seriously, it seems that you’d rather he be a wife-beater
as long as he makes a commitment to beating the poor bird. Be thankful he’s not
using her as a punching bag while SHE USES HIM to support herself while she
pursues what is probably a useless psychology degree. (What is up with women
and psychology degrees?) The lack of commitment doesn’t show your granddaughter
disrespect; it indicates a man who is smart enough to not pull the trigger too
early, who understands that marriage is a notion not entered into lightly.
That, or he’s screwing someone else, in which case, again, it is a good thing
he is not marrying your grandkid. Also keep in mind that it just may be the
fact that your brood just isn’t good enough for him and isn’t someone he wants
to marry at all. He’s just waiting for someone better to come along. In all
seriousness, you should advise your granddaughter to start playing the field
first. Then maybe she will see how good she has it even without a ring and shut
the hell up.
Dear Advice
Furor: I am a grandmother, with four
beautiful/handsome grandchildren. Our oldest grandchild is a beautiful, blond,
smart 18-year-old girl. We are Caucasian. She is dating an African American and
we in the family are disappointed and outraged. She sees nothing wrong with
this. We all have black friends and acquaintances, but dating or marrying
African Americans has never crossed our minds. I know it's not as taboo as it
was years ago, but we just can't see this happening. We've tried telling her
it's not an easy road to travel and that there are consequences with this
relationship. Help! She says we are racists. Are we? – Signed, Katherine Kelli Keller
Dear
KKK: What? No, you’re not racist! Why, if you were racist, you would view
African Americans as ugly, nappy-haired morons unfit to date your beautiful,
blond and smart granddaughter. I mean, if you were racist, you’d imply there
were consequences to your granddaughter having a relationship with an African
American, consequences that you’d somehow imply were negative. But you don’t do
any of that! Even if you did, so what?! You’re Caucasian! The white man has
been oppressing all those other races for what seems like forever now, so that
makes it okay! Really, it’s for their own good because beauty is what matters
and only white folk can be beautiful. How dare some African American man who is
of no benefit to the world whatsoever because of his race lay some huge pipe to
your pure-as-snow granddaughter! What I think is really going on here KKK is
that you’re jealous. Even you know that once you go black you never go back. In
that sense, it is no doubt that your granddaughter is indeed smart, smarter
than you who has lived an entire life so fucking small-minded and afraid of the
world around you. In 18 short years your granddaughter has made the world a far
better place than you’ve made it your entire life. You’ve fostered and bred
nothing but hate into the world and I personally can’t wait until you fucking
die because god dammit, I hate white people. Your time is almost up, bitch, and
I’ll be watching the clock invented by the Chinese.